FIVE TYPES OF ABUSE
There are many forms of abuse in unhealthy relationships. As a psychologist and couples therapist in the Jackson, Mississippi area, I deal with the damage these forms of abuse do to people. Long after the abuse, the pain goes on through the damage to the human psyche. Here are the five types of abuse I often deal with in my office.
This is usually the first kind of abuse that comes to mind when one thinks of someone being harmed by another. Physical abuse can extend from physically pulling hair, slaps, thumping to cause bruising, to even murder. No one has the right to physically harm another in any way. And, it is never the person being abused fault, no matter how much the abuser tries to convince them they deserve it.
This includes "talking down" to someone, being critical of them, or playing mind games with their emotions. Often those who are in a relationship where there is emotional abuse have low self esteem and lack confidence in their own ability. The abuser seeks to control them by playing on their vulnerability.
There are two types of financial abuse. One is where one party expects the other to provide all financial support without them giving anything to the relationship. In this type situation, the abuser is once again taking advantage of someone they see as unable to live on their own without being in a relationship, so they know that they don't have to take the responsibility of working because of the extreme need of the other to have them there.
Another type of financial abuse is where one controls the money in a relationship to the extent that the other has to asks for, or justify every penny. This is often seen in cases where women has little education, or feel that they cannot care for themself and their children. It is also a form of control.
Some people are frightened by who they are involved with having more education or training than they have. This type of abuse is often seen in older teens or young adults when one tries to keep the other from attending college or acquiring a better position. They fear that if the other gets more education they may leave them or not have anything in common with them.
Those who are insecure in relationships or have a tendency to control may try to limit social contact for their significant other. They may try to pick their friends and activities. They question where they go when they are not with them. They may monitor phone calls, text messages, or Facebook accounts. The abuser violates the privacy of their mate due to their own need to control .
Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, financial, educational, or social, the root of the problem is that both in the relationship have problems. The problems of one member makes them vulnerable to the issues with the other. Unresolved problems from their past can cause one to take their anger out on their partner. Insecurities or poor self-image also leads to abuse. Many couples deal with abuse in their relationships due to substance abuse.
If you, or someone you love, is in an abusive relationship. Seek help. No one deserves to be mistreated by another. One time is too much. If it happens once, it can happen again. Anyone who abuses needs help, and so does the one being abused. Therapy to deal with the why of abuse can help.
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