A Psychologist Speaks
When someone comes into a therapist office for counseling there are many reasons. Recently, I have had seen several people who made the appointment for individual therapy because of someone else.
Stress is often caused by those around us. Sometimes there are direct causes of this that we are responsible for, and that we need to make changes. It is the mentally stable person who can look at their actions and move forward. Stress will usually decrease as this is done.
Unfortunately, there are other times when others are involved who do not want to take responsibility for their own behavior, and not only want others to fix the problem, but look for a scapegoat to take the focus away from them. It is this that may bring someone to therapy.
Guilt, shame, frustration, and depression are often seen in those who are put into a situation where they are given the responsibility to "fix it", whether deserved or not.
One of the first things I strive to do in therapy is to separate them from this unearned responsibility. For those who are prone to be a caretaker, or have insecurities of their own, we have work to do. In some cases, it is difficult for them to see others as needing to do the work, but it is important to separate them from their own actions.
Sometimes, it is important to know that it is difficult to be rational in an irrational situation. It helps to have someone, such as a counselor or psychologist to help by talking through an issue at work, school or within a family. This doesn't mean the identified patient has a mental illness. The diagnosis is usually given as an adjustment disorder with anxiety and/or depression because that is just what it means.
If you, or someone you love, is dealing with stress, being made to feel guilty, or too much responsibility is being placed on you/them, then consider seeking help. In my work as a psychologist I often work with people in conflict such as this.
Dr. Nona Owens
580 Springridge Rd.
Clinton, Ms. 39056