Dr. Nona Owens - Psychologist
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Lessons For the Enabler: A Psychologist Speaks
Medication Or Therapy When Seeking Mental Health Care
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Relationships

Involved With A Borderline: Now What?


INVOLVED WITH A BORDERLINE:
NOW WHAT?


If you find yourself searching online for a  psychologist or counselor who treats people involved with those who have Borderline Personality Disorder, you are probably like many who have found them self in a similar position.  Whether you are the partner, parent, or child of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, you may find yourself online, searching.  That search often starts with trying to find ways to "fix" your Borderline, still trying to take care of them, when, in fact, it is often YOU who should seek therapy.

CODEPENDENCY: How Much Will You Give?

CODEPENDENCY

HOW MUCH WILL YOU GIVE?


When it comes to love, there are those who will give up their life when there is danger to another.  Unfortunately, many who are involved in a codependent relationship will go to that extreme in their perception of their need to take care of, or save someone.  

In my work as a psychologist, I meet people who come in so damaged due to their codependency.  Often, their anxiety is so high over their need to "fix" someone, or they are in the depth of depression when they can not solve the problems of another.

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP BECOMES AN ADDICTION


WHEN A RELATIONSHIP BECOMES.
AN ADDICTION

My work as a therapist often brings in people for counseling who presents with symptoms of anxiety and depression.  There is often much more to the story, and it is not uncommon for relationship problems to be involved.

What I have observed is that some of these relationships go to a different level of unhealthy.  It can become an addiction for some.  

Just as one may drink, drug, or gamble when one knows it is harmful to them and others, they continue.

Why Blame Me: Defensive Fighting In Relationships

WHY BLAME ME?

DEFENSIVE FIGHTING IN RELATIONSHIPS


One thing I have learned to expect when counseling couples in my practice of psychology is that blame is often deflected onto the other person.  

The psychological term for this falls under "Defense Mechanisms".
And, while it is common in many, it can be an unhealthy way of dealing with problems.

How many times have you heard a conversation (or been involved in one) where a problem is stated by one, only to have the conversation change to "But you do.

The Importance Of Trust


THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUST

When it comes to relationships, trust is a vital part of developing and maintaining one.  Whether this deals with a personal or professional relationship, trust is important.  

Children learn to trust when they are small.  They depend on their parents and other adults to be there for them.  Unfortunately, many also learn at an early age that trust can also be broken.  As one matures, the way they see the world and others helps build or destroy trust.

Is This The Problem With Your Relationship?

IS THIS THE PROBLEM WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

Any time a person enters into a relationship with other their personality traits have a lot to do with how the relationship will play out.  One problem for many is the issue of "right fighting".
Have you heard that term before.  If not, it might be something that might be helpful to you.

Right fighting happens when there is the need to always be right.  There is no give and take in a discussion, or in others situations as well.  It is extremely hard to have a conversation with a "right fighter".

How Healthy Is Your Relationship For You?

.HOW HEALTHY IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR YOU?



Is your relationship making you sick? Are you an enabler? Could it be that the behaviors of the person you love is causing you stress, or making you sad?  

It is not uncommon for those in a relationship to become so enmeshed with the behaviors of others that they lose their own identity.  Trying to "fix" others, or assume responsibility for their unhealthy behaviors causes emotional pain.  Enabling others, rather than requiring them to take responsibility for their own actions drags one into the drama and unhealthy lifestyle.

BOUNDARIES: EVERYONE NEEDS THEM


BOUNDARIES:  EVERYONE NEEDS THEM

A Therapist Thoughts 


Have you ever looked as someone and thought "Door Mat"?  We have probably all encountered that person who becomes a door mat to others.  They give up their own identity and feelings for others.

Unfortunately, there are people who are afraid that their boundaries will upset others.  They may fear being alone, or that someone they love will leave them.  They are willing to accept a style of life that is not healthy for them to keep this from happening.

Could ADHD Be Causing You Relationship Problems?

COULD ADHD BE CAUSING YOU RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS?

As a practicing psychologist I see people who are dealing with relationship problems as well as those who have symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.  Sometimes, it is the same person.  I have also seen amazing changes in relationship issues when medication is prescribed for the ADHD.

First, I would like to say that I am not a big supporter of medication; however, there are some instances where it is necessary.  When a person's daily life is having significant problems with irritability, impulsivity, focus, and concentration, medication may be helpful.

Could Your Relationship Be Making You Sick?

COULD YOUR RELATIONSHIP BE MAKING YOU SICK?

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS


Do you stuffer from headaches, stomach issues, or even difficulty sleeping, yet have no medical basis for the issues?
The problem could be who you associate with.  Yes, some relationships do make us both physically and emotionally sick.  You might enjoy reading more about toxic relationships in this blog I worte that was published on Yahoo.

http://voices.yahoo.com/toxic-relationships-influence-all-aspects-a-12661083.html?cat=25