Dr. Nona Owens - Psychologist
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Lessons For the Enabler: A Psychologist Speaks
Medication Or Therapy When Seeking Mental Health Care
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Surviving The Holidays In A Dysfunctional Family
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Enabler: They Come In All Ages And Stages Of Life

ENABLER
 
They Come in All Ages
And Stages of Life
 
An enabler is defined as a person who, through his or her actions allows someone else to achieve something.  In most instances, the term enabler is associated with people who allow a loved one to behave in ways that are destructive.
 
As a psychologist, I've seen enablers who contribute to the negative behaviors of their toddler, all the way to the range of those who enable a spouse to continue to engage in substance or physical abuse.

Do You Have The Right Instruction Manual For Life?

.DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT INSTRUCTION
MANUAL FOR LIFE?
 
 
 
Perhaps one of the most interesting and challenging people to work with is one who comes in highly motivated to make changes in the way they are living.  Life, for them, is full of conflict and confusion.  They know that what they are doing isn't working for them, but they often do not have the skills to make the changes without help.  Its like trying to construct a multi piece toy without the right instruction manual.

Dealing With Our Inner Feelings: Self Analysis

DEALING WITH OUR INNER FEELINGS
 
SELF ANALYSIS
 
 
 
 
 
 
I belong to a wonderful forum on Psychology Today with many competent therapists.   A couple weeks ago, we were having a discussion on dealing with our own emotions.  This led me to add comments to the original post about my own thoughts on this.  After completing it, I began to think of all those who are unable to deal with those hurts and emotions they are experiencing. 
 

Therapy Can Help With Making Changes in Your Life

THERAPY CAN HELP WITH MAKING CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE
 
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Many people talk of making changes in their life.  Usually when we hear this, they may be talking about job, home, or relationship.  A common slang term is "Geographic Cure". 
 
Reluctant to look at all aspects of what might be causing a problem, this "geographic cure" is often a first option to "fix" the problem.  When I hear this, I am prone to come back with the comment "wherever you go, there you are".

Walking the Beaten Path

WALKING THE BEATEN PATH
 
 
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When striking out on a walk in the forest, it is human nature to seek out a path for our travels.  We often find the beaten path the easiest way to go.  But, there are instances where the path takes us in the wrong direction.  We backtrack and take a different direction if we end up in the wrong place
 
Have you ever thought about the emotional paths we travel in our life?  What happens when the  beaten path we take leads to pain and unhappiness?

Living In Today Can Bring Happiness

LIVING IN TODAY
 
 
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are three times in our life--the past, the present, and the future. 
 
How many of us let things or events from our past stay in our life to bring sadness or prevent our emotional growth?  Feelings of sadness or anger over what someone may have said or done can cause us to become stuck.  Holding a grudge, or holding onto anger can bring stress into ones life.  We can be so focused on these feelings that we don't allow new feelings in.

Don't Trip Over The Elephant

Don't Trip Over The Elephant
 
DON'T TRIP OVER THE ELEPHANT
 
There is an old saying about "The Elephant in the Living Room".  This refers to trying to avoid the obvious. 
 
When a person, or someone they love, is suffering from an emotional problem, it is all too easy to try to avoid, or make excuses for behavior changes associated with the problem. 
 
A depressed person may withdraw from friends or family, sleep excessively, lose interest in work or hobbies, or just not connect with others in a conversation.